Bacon or Beans?

We had corn on the cob for dinner, which prompted a discussion about vegetables. Corn was developed in Mexico and spread by the native Americans, so to them…THANK YOU! Corn is a versatile vegetable and one of our favorites. Think popcorn (which no one classifies as a vegetable,) hominy, cornbread, hush puppies, etc.

Oddly enough, the demand for corn is so great, there’s a shortage. Which also means a shortage of tortillas in Mexico, which daily consumes a gazillion. One of the restaurants here, which shall be unnamed, makes their enchiladas with flour tortillas. Um….NO! I’m almost positive it can’t (or shouldn’t) be called an enchilada unless it’s made with a corn tortilla. Tastes totally different and not quite right.

From what I know, biofuels can be made from corn. I’m not against ingenuity, but I’d much prefer to have my corn buttered and on the cob, instead of in my gas tank. And how in world would we be able to eat a big bowl of pinto beans if we couldn’t make cornbread? You’re right…we couldn’t. So, leave our corn alone, please.

While you’re at it, leave our potatoes alone, too. Yes, you read that right. They’re experimenting with using potato chip scraps for biofuel. I’m okay on the chip scraps, but once they find out they won’t have enough because people like me use them for topping a tuna fish casserole, they’ll have to expand to other potato stuff. Horrible thought.

Ed and I started listing things we eat made with potatoes. Baked potato, French fries, au gratin potatoes, scalloped potatoes, hash browns, tater tots, fried potatoes, mashed potatoes, etc. In doing so, I realized we might have a potato addiction. I supposed that’s better than a drug one, but it might be better if we had a kale addiction. Yeah, that will never happen.

With just a little bit of effort, I could become a total vegetarian. I laugh when I cook up a package of frozen vegetables and the serving size for the package is five. Really? Who are those five people? The only way you’d get five servings out of most packages is if the people eating them didn’t like vegetables. Ed and I easily consume the whole package. Or maybe the five servings assume you’re not slathering them in butter. If they weren’t, that would probably serve five, cause the vegetables would suck.

I wonder if they have a category for people like me. Someone who prefers vegetables over meat but does give in to a bacon cheeseburger, pork chop, or occasional steak (if it comes from Longhorn Steakhouse) craving. And, of course, all my vegetables need to be smothered in about a pound of butter or cheese, so we’re right back to the cow issue. Although, most things I do prefer with I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter. I could eat that right out of the tub.

About the only kind of green bean I don’t like is when they’re made into a green bean casserole, but I will eat it. I prefer my beans to be nice and bright, not covered in a bunch of sauce. And I think you know my opinion of black-eyed peas, since our back yard is covered in them. Not literally, although I do keep adding more pea plants. Eventually that will probably be a literal sentence.

Since I do like a wide variety of vegetables, I can understand why some people go vegan. What I don’t understand is their thought process on meat eaters. You know the one…meat eaters destroy the planet. They leave God totally out of the equation. I’ve mentioned that before, and it’s true. God was smart. For instance, He gave us cows, potatoes, wheat, and lettuce. From just those four ingredients, He knew we’d make a chicken-fried steak dinner. If you’ve ever eaten at Bud Jones, their CFS is so big it requires a platter and approximately half a cow. The steak is smothered in gravy, and accompanied by a salad, mashed potatoes w/gravy, and a roll. Leave out the cow completely, and you have mashed potatoes, roll and salad. But no butter for the roll and no gravy for the potatoes. Pretty sure God wouldn’t like that dinner any more than I would. We would be able to forego our usual doggie bag full of enough leftovers for two more meals, but I still vote no.

Who was it that decided we should eat cows? God gave us all those animals and said “Enjoy” (paraphrased) and somebody saw a cow wandering around and immediately thought about prime rib. He also gave us lions and elephants, but we don’t eat them. And I’m pretty sure God didn’t stick post-it notes on the cow with instructions. Somebody decided cows were edible, cows gave milk, and milk could be turned into cheese and butter. Amazing. Since I tend to turn animals into pets, I’m pretty sure it would never have crossed my mind.

I grew up hunting rabbits with my dad and skinning them by the side of the road. When I got a pet rabbit, that was the last time I could kill or eat one. On our farm, I had a pet rooster. Henry used to follow me around and came when called. A gorgeous Rhode Island Red, a tad bit on the chubby side. The neighbors ate him, but that’s another story. Had I kept him longer, I’m pretty sure I’d have stopped eating chickens, too.

Sometimes I do feel guilty when I eat meat, but not because I believe I’m destroying the planet by cooking a pork chop. No, it goes more toward thinking it’s not fair to the animal. They should be able to live their life out in a pasture somewhere, not having to worry about hiding from someone taking them to the stockyards. When that happens, I try to remember that God is much smarter than I am, and if He says it’s okay to cook a pot roast, then…it’s okay. As long as it’s accompanied by mashed potatoes, gravy and a big bowl of green beans.

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