Bad Luck or Bad Bugs?

Thinking of buying a new car? Check with me first. No, seriously, check with me first! Why? Because if I drive it or perhaps just like it, chances are it’s going away, and I don’t want you getting attached to something that won’t be around long. Yep. I’m a jinx. They’re going to stop making the LaCrosse. I never thought I’d like a LaCrosse. I was wrong. Doesn’t happen too often, but I’ll freely admit when I am. Alex massages me while I’m driving down the road. How can you not like a car that does that?

I loved my Bonneville. Didn’t drive anything for years but a Bonneville. My first was a 1967 convertible, which was a little bit like piloting the QEII. It was followed by a 1987, 1994, and 2005. The 2005 was the last year they made Pontiacs.

My next car was a 2011 Buick Lucerne. Yep. Last model year for the Lucerne. And now, the LaCrosse is on the chopping block. I need to keep my “last model year” track record going, and I’ll have to buy a new one once we find the exact last production date. Maybe by the time that one gets too old to drive they’ll come out with a suitable substitute. I doubt it because “they” seem to think we all want to drive SUVs. Nope. Not me. Probably because I like to push the envelope and see exactly how fast I can take the curve above the recommended speed limit. Pretty sure an SUV would be upside down on the side of the road.

I am all for free enterprise. I fully understand that car manufacturers need to make money and they will spend their resources on what people are buying. I get it. Ed says they’ll still produce the LaCrosse in China, because they’re a big seller. Evidently the Chinese are smarter than us, but I don’t think I should have to leave our country to drive a car I like, even if they do have really good food over there.

Supposedly all the big GM cars are going away. The Cadillac, the Chevrolet Impala, and the Buick. Here’s a thought. Keep one, for people like me who want a sedan with room to carry enough luggage for a week-long trip and not elbow Ed every time I move my arm. Preferably the LaCrosse, since it’s in the middle cost-wise and well, I like it. That should count for something, right?

By the way, it’s not just cars. If I like a TV show, chances are it will go away. Sure, they’ll keep it long enough for me (and Ed) to get addicted, then cancel it. Monk, Timeless, The Crossing, Roseanne, Designated Survivor, Elementary, Scorpion, etc. That’s a pretty long list. So, if you like a TV show, you might want to ask if I’m watching it. If I am, pretty sure it won’t be around much longer. Save yourself some heartburn and stop watching it now. It may not even be the whole show. It might be a character in a show. On Grey’s Anatomy, I liked April. She was my favorite. They didn’t kill her off, but she’s gone from the show. Over the years, Grey’s has hung around, but all my favorite characters are gone. Mostly dead. April was lucky.

I sometimes wonder if I’m being stalked. Or rather, spied on. I think there might be a bug in the house. Not the kind you squash, but the kind that listens in on your conversations and reports back to the sinister figure in the shadows. Granted, I do have an overactive imagination, but it could be a possibility, right? I don’t have Alexa or any of those other “smart” devices for that very reason. No one will ever convince me they wouldn’t be listening when I didn’t want them to. Paranoid much? Not enough to need anti-psychotic drugs, but slightly so.

How else do you explain the sudden demise of everything I like? I’m not even sure how Ed has managed to survive our marriage as long as he has, since my first husband died less than three years into that one. Except that Ed is part Polish. In other words, he might not be smart enough to know he’s in mortal danger. Just sayin’. (And for those of you would want to comment about my ragging on the Polish people, it’s a joke! He’s actually very smart, as are most Polish people. He married me, didn’t he?)

Ed and I went on the Texas Dining Train. It left San Antonio and went to Hondo, then came back. It was a spectacular experience! From the moment we stepped onto the train, we were treated like royalty. Impressively dressed waiters, chargers underneath our plate, fancy appetizers, the whole ball of wax. We talked about it all the way home. We’d love to go again, but, oh yeah, it’s in railroad heaven.

The first time we ate at SA Burgers, we raved about the hamburger on the drive home. I’m not sure what they did for their seasoning, but it was the best burger ever, and I’m not a big red meat person. I ate every bite of that one. I would say I wanted more, but I was stuffed. The ambience wasn’t very good, because it was the definition of a dive, but the food was spectacular. We went there a lot. Too often, I guess, because they’re no longer around. Perhaps if we wouldn’t discuss how much we enjoyed something, it would still be around.

I suppose this could all be chalked up to life changes, but I’m not sure. I’m telling you, someone is listening in on our conversations to find out what to get rid of next. I know what you’re thinking. No, not that I’m crazy. (But you’re probably thinking that, too.) You’re thinking it’s God getting rid of stuff I get too fond of. Nope. If that were true, Jody wouldn’t still be jumping into my lap and demanding attention. Bobby wouldn’t be sitting someplace so I can grab him and pet his too-soft body. Brandi wouldn’t be hanging over the edge of the bathtub when I’m taking a bath so she can drink the hot, soapy water. (We have strange cats!)

Brandi is about two hundred years old, plus or minus a few years, and all our cats live much longer than they’re supposed to. Sugar, our hundred-pound black Lab lived to 15, average lifespan is 10-14 years. Our cats live to 18/20, average is 12-18. Our rabbit only lived for eight years, which is on the bottom of the spectrum, but that may be because she was addicted to Trix and moon pies. They say you’re not supposed to feed your “pets” people food, but Sugar loved her Famous Amos vanilla sandwich cookies, and our kitty babies will grab bacon off your plate before you have time to react, so it hasn’t seemed to hurt them.

Because I dearly love all my babies, that shoots the “God thinks you love them too much” theory all to pieces. Which brings us right back to my “someone is listening” theory. Since I’m almost convinced that’s the case, I scoff at all the smart home stuff they’re inventing. A refrigerator you remotely check to see when the milk expires, a door you can unlock from your phone, a stove you can turn on when you’re still miles away from the house, lights, security devices, thermostats, etc. All accessible when you’re in another state. If you can access them, so can someone else, right?

We have smart TVs, but we’ve disabled the smart part of them. My laptop has a webcam, but it’s disabled. Basically, the only thing I haven’t disabled that is capable of spying on me is God. (And Santa Claus.) I trust God, so I’m perfectly fine with him knowing my every move, but I sure don’t trust whoever is listening in on my conversations and removing/killing off things I like. Until I find out who’s causing the problem, don’t expect me to openly discuss my favorite things with you. Well, unless it’s at your house. That’s probably safe. In the meantime, I’ll be searching my house for bugs if you need me.

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