Honk if you Love Jesus!

Am I the only one noticing how many cars have bumper stickers on them? I think they’re growing in popularity, if that’s possible. Mine doesn’t. Well, it used to, but that one wore out long ago. It was a message about not drinking and driving but I think most people who do that wouldn’t really care what I think. Either that or they’d be too drunk to read it without running into the back of my car, so I’ve never replaced it.

Some stickers are downright vulgar. What makes someone think placing the “F” word on their bumper is acceptable? Some of these same people put them on t-shirts. That’s not any better, especially if you’re in a mall full of people. You know some parents have to explain to their children what that word means. Especially the ones whose children have just started to read. They are so proud of their new-found skills. So proud, in fact, they make sure everyone in the mall hears them as they read it. You’ll know which children have just started reading—they’re the ones with the red-faced moms. People should just stick to funny ones. Clean, but funny. Like the “Pardon me, do you have any cheap yellow mustard?” sign I used to have hanging in the car window. Years of sun exposure finally destroyed it, but I thought it was hilarious.

Most cars I run into lately have religious stickers on them. Wait! Maybe I should rephrase that. I don’t literally run into them, I just pass by them or they pass by me. Was that clearer? I don’t want you to think I’m a bad driver, because I’m not. There was one time I almost hit a vehicle because I was trying to read the bumper sticker, but I didn’t actually crash into them. That sticker had extremely small type. When I got close enough, which was very close, it read, “If you’re close enough to read this, you’re too close.” Well, duh! Had they printed it a little larger, I wouldn’t have had to get that close, now would I?

I find it heartening to see the increase of the religious ones. My mom got me one for my car that read “In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned.” I never put it on the car, though. I knew it would get messed up and it was too cute to damage. She also got me that saying on a license plate frame. Now that one I use. If nothing else, it keeps people from following me too closely. They’re afraid that if I really do disappear, they’ll have a wreck, so once they read the license frame, they back off. That’s a good thing.

You don’t see “Honk if you love Jesus” stickers that much anymore. I’m pretty sure that’s because of people like me. I used to honk. That only served to confuse the driver in front of me. I think they forgot what was on their bumper sticker. Or else they were in someone else’s car, because they would appear a little angry. Since I would normally honk after reading the sticker while I was waiting behind them at a traffic signal, I think they thought I was telling them to move. Luckily no one ever gave me the one-fingered salute. Had they done so, I would have been forced into lecturing them on how they weren’t acting like a Christian when they were advertising for God.

Some of the cars in our neighborhood have lots of stickers on them. We live in a rather “depressed” area of town, so I’m not sure if they’re there for any reason other than to cover up a ding. There’s one SUV I saw that had about 300—every size and shape imaginable. They’ll never have to get a paint job. All they’ll have to do is plaster on more stickers, since you can’t tell what the color of the vehicle is anyway. Not a bad idea if you’re short of money. It doesn’t appear they bought the stickers since there was no theme, just a lot of advertising. You can get those bumper stickers for free.

I’m torn on how I feel about all the religious bumper stickers. A part of me enjoys reading them and gives me a reminder of God’s love for me. Or it makes me glad for my own salvation because some of them are warnings. The dire consequences of not believing. Others have a simpler message, such as “God is my co-pilot.” That’s probably my favorite, because I like to think he’s also mine. Or the “Jesus loves you” one. I put that one into the billboard category.

Remember them? They were all over the place for a while. Big billboards. If I went home one particular way from work, it was there. All black, with white words “I love you…I love you…I love you. God.” I never failed to pass by that billboard without saying “I love you, too, Father.” I miss them. The first ones were out in 1998. I hope they eventually bring them back. I really like them.

So, advertising for God is a good thing, even if it is on cars and billboards. The reason I’m not 100% sure I like the bumper stickers is because I’m not 100% positive the people driving the cars really believe them. If you see one of the billboards, you can rest assured the people that put them up there believe in what they’re saying, otherwise they wouldn’t be spending that much money. But on cars? That’s a different story. If someone borrowed my car and it had a religious bumper sticker on it, then I would want assurances they believed what it said before I handed over the keys.

I mean, if you’re going to advertise for God, then don’t you have an obligation to act like you believe it? How embarrassing would it be to get pulled over for road rage when the cop could see a God advertisement while he’s writing the ticket? I would think he would want to write a separate one, for false advertising, but I don’t know if the police can ticket for that. If you get passed by a car with the co-pilot sticker on it, then that car shouldn’t be driving about a hundred miles an hour, weaving in and out of traffic should it? I’m almost positive that God wouldn’t really allow that if He were, in fact, the co-pilot. Maybe they could come up with removable stickers you can use when you’re driving and another for people who borrow your car. It could say “God isn’t his co-pilot, so excuse his driving, please.” Or something like that.

All in all, bumper sticker advertising isn’t such a bad thing. I wonder if it really does any good, though. Do you really think anyone has been converted because they read a bumper sticker? I doubt it. Although it’s certainly possible. That might be the only exposure a non-believer gets to religion. What it should do for sure, though, is brighten the day of those of us who are saved. In a world where being a Christian is almost becoming a negative, it’s nice to know they haven’t started regulating that aspect of our life yet.

Know what would be an ideal thing for a car? A nativity scene in the back window, a cross dangling from the rear-view mirror, religious music playing from the radio, and a bumper sticker that read “I’m a Christian and durn proud of it.” If you decide to go that route, though, please don’t forget you’re decked out in religious decorations. We don’t want you driving like a bat out of Hell when you’re trying to pass the word about Heaven.