Out of the Woods

Many years ago, the associate pastor gave the sermon one day. He brought up Winnie the Pooh and his entourage, and that got me to thinking about something. Gary, Miss Vickie’s not-so-better half, says there’s a 57^th chapter in the Bible. Its name is Garzigpe and was written by Bro. Bob. That’s because Bob liked to use cartoons during his sermons; in particular Garfield, Ziggy, and Peanuts. For those of us with a slightly off-center sense of humor, that’s a good thing. I like cartoons, especially Winnie the Pooh.

I had a Winnie bear in my office at work. That, of course, will only serve to prove that my three-year old mentality isn’t limited to my house. When you lay Winnie on his back, he snores. Kind of like Gary does during church. I didn’t know that until one day at lunch, when Miss Vickie made a point of telling us. Her comments were in response to my lamentations about Ed’s snoring. To his credit, Ed doesn’t snore in church, though. Probably because he gets the elbow in the ribs before he can get that far. He always gives me the dirty look and insists he was praying, but I know better. Normally when he’s praying his mouth isn’t drooping open.

Bro. Bob read several Ziggy cartoons. No Peanuts or Garfield, just Ziggy and Winnie the Pooh references. Since I’m a Pooh bear aficionado that immediately keyed me into something very important. Christians are like Winnie the Pooh characters. I think I’m like Tigger. Miss Vickie is like that most of the time, also. We’re both pretty “up” characters, willing to talk about anything, and not making a lot of sense sometimes when we do. Which isn’t too relevant since Gary and Ed don’t listen to us anyway. I think they’re happiest when we have each other to talk to. That way we leave them alone. Miss Vickie likes to use the babbling brook and Dead Sea analogy for her house. It’s pretty much the same thing at ours.

Tigger-type people must be the happiest kind of Christians. We like to bounce around being happy. Not much gets us down. Not like the Eeyore people. Eeyore-type Christians are always looking on the glum side of things. Instead of working through a problem, they like to sit around asking “Why me?” No matter what happens, they could find the bad side of it. If they got a car for free, they’d focus in on having to pay for the tax, title, and license. If they got a pay raise, they’d worry about the additional taxes they’d owe. If it’s nice and sunny they worry about the lawn being dry and if it’s raining they worry about the lawn getting too much water. You get the idea. Overall not a good way to live. You’re happier if you bounce.

Ed is like Piglet. Even hanging around a Tigger-type person, he’s still a worrier. At times that’s handy because he makes sure the oil on my car is changed when it’s supposed to be. I don’t have to think about a limb hanging over the roof; he’ll make sure the limb is cut before it rots the roof, as he knows it will. That’s the upside. The down side is sometimes he misses the joy of life. That’s my job—to remind him that life is more than worrying about something going wrong, that even if it isn’t going the way he planned, it’s going the way God planned. He worries that the glass is half-empty; I’m thankful it’s half-full. Were the Hundred Acre Woods crew actually alive, he’d be best buds with Piglet. Were they the only two in the woods, the trees would be spectacular from the limb trimming, but I can’t imagine they’d be happy.

Churches and woods need Rabbit. I don’t think Gary approved too much when I told him he was Rabbit. He didn’t understand that’s a compliment. Miss Vickie is like Rabbit, too. She’s an eclectic character—a Rabbit/Tigger combination. Rabbits are hard workers. In churches, they are secretaries, organizers, pianists, choir members, etc. In the woods, they plant gardens and make sure things are run correctly. We Tigger types are normally too busy bouncing to worry about things like that. In Miss Vickie’s case, that just means she bounces around organizing stuff.

In an ideal world, all pastors would be like Winnie the Pooh. They would keep their entourage together, encourage them when they’re down, and generally lead the flock. They’d keep the Tiggers from annoying the Rabbits because they’re bouncing around when the Rabbits are trying to get things done. The Pooh pastors keep telling the Piglets there really isn’t anything to worry about. They also have to encourage the Eeyores so they don’t sink any further into depression. They have the hardest job of all…keeping everyone in line and happy.

I guess the bottom line is that churches are full of cartoon characters. I know that doesn’t sound quite right, but you know what I mean. It doesn’t take a village; it takes a woods. Everyone working together when one is in trouble. And in the long run, what more could you ask for? Except maybe a pot of honey.