Well, I’ll be a Monkey’s Uncle!

Books are written about evolution, courses are taught in college, and more than one television show has explored the subject. Being a creationist, the whole concept of evolution escapes me.

The way I understand it, this little “thing” crawled up on shore and eventually evolved into man. So, where did woman come from? Were there two little things that crawled up on shore…one with brains…one with testosterone? If so, did they mate? If they didn’t, then where did more little things come from? Was it just a one-night stand, or were they married? You never hear scientists talk about that.

Personally, I don’t like the whole concept. I prefer to think of a loving God lovingly shaping a man and a woman in His own image, putting them in a pretty garden where they don’t even have to pay rent, giving them free will, and then waiting for them to mess things up like we always do. That’s a much more charming picture than imagining I came from a slimy something-or-other that crawled onto a shore. More Blue Lagoon than Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Proponents of evolution say creation just isn’t possible, that it’s illogical. Like a slimy something-or-other being our forefathers is logical. Why would evolutionists prefer to think they came from amoeba than from a human being? It’s logical to suppose mankind came from this little tadpole-type creature? Then where did cats come from? Where did birds come from? Where did flies come from? Okay, that’s a bad one. I can’t even figure out where flies come from, and if I could, I still wouldn’t know why they were here.

Eventually, or so the theory goes, the amoeba became a monkey and then a human. Seriously? When was the last time you saw a monkey do a drive-by (or swing-by) shooting? Frankly, I think monkeys are insulted by the whole idea. That’s why they don’t talk. They probably can, you know, it’s just they figure it would lend more credence to the evolution theory. I don’t think they want to be associated with humans in that way. Can’t say as how I really blame them.

There are just too many different things on this earth for me to envision we all came from a single little whatever. If I plant a rose bush, it doesn’t stay in the yard for years and suddenly start turning into a pumpkin patch. It would be nice if it did, because that’s my husband’s favorite pie, but it doesn’t. So, why would a single-celled “creature” suddenly break apart and go in so many different directions? Did it become the human line, the fish line, the dog line, the snake line, etc.? Talk about an identity crisis!

Nope, that whole line of thinking, to me anyway, is illogical. The evolutionists say God doesn’t exist because they can’t see Him; therefore, we must have come from an amoeba. Hello? Have they ever seen that amoeba? I haven’t ever seen my brain, either, but I’m convinced it exists. Well, most of the time, anyway.

It’s so much simpler to believe in the creation theory. There’s a manual and everything. God didn’t just plop us down here without instructions. What have we gotten from this amoeba-type creature? Not much that I can see. When has its book been on the best seller list? God’s instruction manual has been the biggest seller internationally for more years than the New York Times has been publishing their list. Let the amoeba top that!

Why did the amoeba crawl up on the shore in the first place? I’ve always wondered about that, too. Did it just decide one day, “Hey, I think I’ll evolve!” Did it get tired of swimming around all day without a whole lot else to do? What was it thinking? Oh, yeah, that’s right, it couldn’t think, could it? So, when did it get a brain? Was it when it evolved into a scorpion? I don’t think so. They’re stupid. My mother swore she could tell one to stay right where it is while she ran to get something to kill it with, and sure enough, it would still be there when she came back and smashed it with a hammer. (She really hated them!) Adam and Eve may not have been all that smart if they were willing to give up what they had for an apple, but they’re sure smarter than a scorpion.

Yep, the whole thing is just too confusing for me to believe the evolutionists and their theory. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t get confused by the creation theory, but it’s a no-brainer compared to imagining me evolving from something that crawled onto a shore. The most confusing thing about believing the Bible, is trying to figure out why God created us in the first place when He knew what we’d end up like. Even so, it’s a far sight better than anything else I’ve ever heard mentioned.

Why is it so hard for people to believe we were created by God and so easy to believe we evolved from an amoeba? Is it because the whole concept is too threatening? If we came from an amoeba, I guess we don’t have to worry about what we do or whom we do it to. No commitment, no involvement, no conscience involved. Kind of like the amoeba they presume we evolved from. Swim around all day doing nothing and not worrying about somebody waiting to judge us.

I might rethink this whole evolution thing if “they” would answer one question. Where did the amoeba come from? Who put it here? And where did the land come from for it to crawl onto? Nope, don’t buy it. I’ll stick with the Adam and Eve story. They had their faults, sure, but it’s much nicer than believing I evolved from a slimy little something-or-other, just waiting for someone to smash it with a hammer.